Happiness is Right Here, Right Now

As we prepare to welcome 2020, the tendency is to look back on the past 12 months with mixed feelings, as we probably do at the cusp of every new year. Each year brings with it the usual hope and resolutions, like magically a date would change our fortunes or fate or opportunities. At some level “its-in-the-stars” idea maybe true but I believe more in karma. Not strictly in the religious sense but in the philosophy of action and its consequences. In Biblical terms; “for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” If you sow evil, you will reap evil in the form of suffering. And if you sow goodness, you will reap goodness in the form of inner joy. In other words, every action brings about its own corresponding reward. It is not God’s will but our ignorance of taking responsibility of our choices that result in joy or pain. Our mental attitude is a corollary expressed beautifully by Milton, “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

Personally, it gives me immense strength and the foresight to acknowledge the futility of worrying about conditions that would make me happy. In other words, I choose to be happy right here and right now arising out of my self-defined priorities. So here is a famous short story by German writer Heinrich Boll that means many different things to different people but what it means to me is, Happiness is Right Here, Right Now.

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several larger yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while.” The American then asked why he didn’t stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into a village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually; you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, and then LA and eventually New York City, where you can run your expanding enterprise.

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15-20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become more rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions-then what?” asked the Mexican fisherman.

The American said, “then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep-in late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play guitar with your amigos.”

It would seem from this parable that happiness and self-improvement were in direct conflict with each other. The Mexican fisherman was content with little but didn’t aspire to make progress or grow as much as the Investment Banker did is one way of looking at it but to see it this way would be missing the point completely. The most important take for me is that the fisherman made the decision to be happy right now.

“The future is still not here, and cannot become a part of experienced reality until it is present…To pursue it is to pursue a constantly retreating phantom, and the faster you chase it, the faster it runs ahead. This is why all the affairs of civilization are rushed, why hardly anyone enjoys what he has, and is forever seeking more and more.” – Alan Watts

It's the Happiness Trap.

For most of us, we have been taught since childhood to defer our happiness into the future.

“Once you get these grades and enroll in University, you’ll be happy.”

“After you have graduated and get placed in a top company, the you’ll be happy.”

“When you start building financial security, buy a house, car and other luxuries, then you’ll be happy.”

“Then you will get married, have kids and all the comforts money can buy, you will finally be happy.”

So you see, we are always chasing happiness and acquiring more stuff, only to realize that happiness has shifted.

The single person chases marriage to finally be happy, whilst unhappy married people chase singleness again to be happy.

The unknown musician chases fame and attention to finally be happy, whilst the popular celebrity chases obscurity to be happy again.

One man chases wealth and money to find happiness, another extremely wealthy man sells his possessions to the poor to be happy again.

In other words, pursuing happiness doesn’t lead to happiness. It’s the nature of happiness-paradoxical. If obtained, it will be, at best, transient.

Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived Auschwitz and a number of other Nazi concentration camps, knew a thing or two about happiness. He once said, “Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued, it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater that oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success; you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long run - in the long run, I say! - Success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it.”

Barry Schwartz puts it rather bluntly, “Happiness as a goal is a recipe for disaster.”

I hope I have been able to convince you, that Happiness is Right Here Right Now. A great example is little children or dogs. They don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They don’t really care what people think about them or even what they think of themselves.

They live in this moment right here and now, even though they don’t have money, a fancy job, house, car or spouse. You can tap into this freedom because you have been there before.

Embrace the happiness that’s already available to you right now.