What I Possess

Image Courtesy: Rajiv Bajaj, Unsplash.com

Those who know me well appreciate the remarkable journey I have made from where I was to where I am today.

Sometimes, when I think about it, I am amazed too. But the truth is that I have inherited some fabulous genes. It seems that I possess the "bright-side" gene.

Its rooted in the hormone oxytocin, also known as the love or cuddle hormone. A little chunk of genetic material on the oxytocin receptor gene may influence this personality trait. Exactly how, is not fully understood but its most likely a combination of two variants. Each of us inherits two versions of the gene, either two short ones, two long ones, or one of each. People who had two long versions were most likely to focus on the positives, according to the study published in Proceedings of the Royal Society B. According to this discovery by researchers I possess two long versions as I generally see the bright side of life or I am an optimist.

Some of the traits that make me an optimist are; gratitude, hope and altruism. Gratitude is an emotion expressing appreciation for what I have-as opposed to what I want or need. I pay attention to my blessings. Hope involves the will to get there and different ways to get there. It allows me to approach problems with a solution-based mindset. Hope may have got a bad rap but it’s not just a feel-good emotion, it’s a dynamic cognitive motivational system. Altruism is like a sensation, sometimes called the “helper’s high”. I don’t expect recognition or reward for a good deed but feel energized and happy afterwards.

But don’t sweat if you don't have two long ones, because you are not destined to be happy or sad based on your genetic make-up. Genes predict behavior, but they are not the end-all. Environmental variations, like, how you were raised and the life experiences you have had, play a significant role in your outlook to things. In other words, you may be born an optimist but circumstances or experiences could cast a shadow on your optimism.

And the good news is, that born or not, you could become a “learned optimist”. Dr. Martin Seligman, often referred to as the father of positive psychology, states that optimism improves the immune system, prevents chronic disease and aids individuals in coping with negative events. No one is exempt from stressful situations and there is no magic potion to make feelings of anxiety disappear. However, people with optimistic traits deal differently with stress. Studies show an optimistic person typically recovers faster from nasty setbacks.

But there is a downside to being up. Psychologists call this “optimism bias”, and it infects virtually all of our thinking. We tend to believe we are better looking, healthier, wealthier or successful. In general, it’s a good thing. But becoming overly optimistic is obstructive. It could be called “blinding optimism” that focuses exclusively on the bright side of life and sweeps harsh realities under the rug.

So there is a big difference between healthy optimism and the pop psychology version of positive thinking. People who play the “everything-will-be-great” game not only ignore real problems and issues at hand, but prevent others from expressing sorrow, pain, anger or fear. Healthy optimists do not talk about how wonderful things are or how terrific everything will turn out, when faced with bad or unfortunate events.

Personally, I don’t look at the world through rose-tinted glasses. And to do so I don’t allow my desire to see good blind me to the truth. I don’t confuse positive thinking with wishful thinking either.

I have had my share of nasty setbacks from losing a dear friend to suicide, financial crisis and difficult relationships. My mental well being and self-esteem took a hit many times. But I never lost hope in my ability to make things better. The unwavering philosophical belief in “this too shall pass” and silver-lining belief “whatever happens, happens for the good” kept me going.

James Pennebaker, a psychological researcher at the University of Texas in Austin, has found that people who find meaning in adversity are ultimately healthier in the long run than those who do not. This calls to mind Life of Pi and Silver Linings Playbook in which both Pi and Pat find meaning and love in terrible circumstances to overcome their suffering and in the process it reveals how uplifting silver linings can be.

After all, "It does not seem to be of much use being anything else but an optimist"

Winston Churchill