IF MY DOGS COULD TALK...

On a cold winter night, I lay down right beside him when he had fever and nasal congestion. I rushed him to the only 24*7 clinic at 3:00 A.M. I explored all the public parks in my area that allowed dog’s off-leash, so that they could play, run and roam freely for at least 30 minutes in a day. Another time, my grown-up kids rushed one of them to the vet in the middle of the night. We prefer going on family vacations where they are welcome or we just take solo trips. The things we do for our dogs are limitless. My mother says that they are the lucky ones to have us as their owners. But the truth is we are extremely fortunate to have them.

Dog’s aren’t just man’s best friend, they are better than human friends. A dog’s love is unconditional. Even after I have left them for a whole day, they will greet me with oodles of joy. My older one prances around in excitement and the younger one talks in a high-pitched whine. Her way of telling me how happy she is to see me and how bored she was while I was away. Because you see, in her head she is my personal bodyguard and when there is no “body” then she has nothing to guard.

That being said, I believe there are a lot many things that they both have a point of view on and this is what it would sound like if they could talk.

“I am watching your clothes, your shoes, your movement.”

They are always on the look out to ride with us. They notice where I am going with my wallet or if I have worn a different set of shoes or if I have keys in my hand. Regardless of what time of the day it is, I am being watched 24*7. Even when I am asleep - I sense a cold, wet nose close to my face - just to check if I am still breathing.

“Just because I am chilling, doesn’t mean I am not judging you.”

They will be brats and interfere when you bring someone home that you always knew was a bad choice. My younger one also shows signs of being class-oriented. If given a chance she will chase the press-wallah, plumber, electrician and anyone else who has body odor.

“Your sadness makes me sad.”

My older one understands when I am having a bad day. The younger one is more of a narcissist. Which means she knows that I am tired but doesn’t care because all she wants to do is have fun. My older one comes to my rescue and entertains her with his silly antics of play-bow, faking a chase and singing opera.

“I know how to make you feel guilty.”

They know exactly what standing at the front window staring at me with their tail dead does to my emotional stability. He knows how to do a big sigh or rub her face against me when I am ignoring them.

“If you bore me, I will embarrass you.”

Every time we have guests (which is not often) and are having a lovely time chatting and catching-up, my older one will purposely take getting attention in to his own paws. He will strut past all the guests and find a place on one of the sofas to park himself. My younger one, however, is more direct and will simply shout, “Look at me!”

“I know what you are saying and I don’t care.”

My dogs are fully aware of what I am saying when I ask her to bring a toy or him to finish his food. But they have no interest in what I am saying and shamelessly ignore it.

“Why do you worry about stupid stuff?”

My older one hates raised voices. He will immediately walk up to me, sit down and stare at me, until I calm down.

“I can’t be bothered being a dog.”

This one applies only to my younger one. She will bark at whatever catches her fancy, roll naked in the grass, walk into puddles of mud, burp and fart after dinner. My older one is a “human in dog’s clothing” and looks at her condescendingly when she does all the above stuff.

“Have you forgotten what time it is?”

It’s only a minute past 5:30 a.m. and a minute past 6:30 p.m. (their daily walk timings) and they both could wake up the dead with their histrionics.

All this got me thinking; how much do we share about our private selves openly? And do we lie to save face, avoid confrontation or just make ourselves look better than we really are? Honesty is an admirable trait, but the truth is, there are many things that we all are less forthcoming about. But not our dogs and you have got to love them for that. Another trait I envy in them is that they have no shame. If we followed in their footsteps, hair dye would be obsolete as would be perfumes and Botox would be a moot point.

They also tell us about the pointlessness of being greedy and wanting more. Unless we were discussing the pile of squeaky toys or meat. They would tell the world to stop all senseless crimes and fly straight to being kind, love, lick, sniff butts, share and stick your head out the window when you drive the car. In their world, a treat means as much as a belly rub. Loyalty is an everyday thing; happiness means just being in the same room as us.

I think we could all use their brand of honesty, sanity, calm and a random chew stick.