Why I stopped worrying about aging.

Feeling good and looking young was one of my goals when I turned 40. To me, feeling good is the key to looking good too but looking young is altogether a different benchmark. It is a combination of genes, lifestyle and personal care regime. You can extend youth but you cant arrest it from fading. Our body will begin to show signs of aging, some apparent and some subtle. I share this personal story because I understand that I can't turn back the clock but I can be comfortable with where I am and how I am.

This one inquiry changed the way I look at aging.

It all began that one fateful morning when a few grey hair had turned into a cluster of grey hair on the crown of my head. It hadn't happened overnight but it was there....in my face! It was noticeable to others much before I noticed it.

I...........was...........devastated!

I had to fix it!

Why? Because, people said "I am not that old" and I felt "grey hair takes away my freedom to wear what I want to wear" and "I wasn't ready to wear salwar-kameez yet".

I had to find the right stylist, the best brand and the perfect color to match my skin tone. Despite my awareness of the damage of using chemicals on hair, I was determined to do it anyway. My scheduled visits to the hair salon for touch-up meant it was not a permanent solution either.

That is when I questioned my decision again.

What I discovered, will sound ridiculous now, but believe me it was not at that time.

I was fraught with the idea of having to give up "western" wear and replace it with salwar-kameez or kurti because that is what grey-haired women wear!! And no, I DON'T judge women who wear ethnic stuff but it is not my style.

But what is wrong with grey-haired women, to wear whatever they want to wear? Absolutely nothing!

And just like that I freed myself from incessant visits to the hair salon and over-loading my tresses with harmful chemicals. I saved tons of money too!

So here is my take on embracing aging.

I have set my own belief-system based on what is important to me.

I have become kinder and less critical of myself. I have become my own friend.

I have seen too many friends leave this world, before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4:00 AM.

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk to the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body (or maybe not but basically wear shorts or a spaghetti top with a skirt or whatever it is that I am comfortable in).

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, eventually, we remember the important things.

I know my heart will be broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one or when a child suffers or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I care less about what other people think. I find it easier to be positive.

I question myself less and have earned the right to be wrong.

So, for all those people who are worried about aging, here is my advise.

Being older sets you free and there is so much joy in that freedom.

You learn to like the person you have become.

You are not going to live forever, but, while you are still here, don't waste your time lamenting what could have been or worrying about what will be. Just feel blessed each day and eat dessert every single day if you feel like it.