Stay in the present

Image Courtesy: Anshu A, Unsplash.com

If I told you “don’t think about a pink elephant”, what are the chances that you are going to think about it? Very high! You can’t help it, no one can. If you try not to think a thought that will probably all you can think about. Luckily, this is not a problem you alone have; this is simply how thoughts work in all our minds. Thoughts do not respond to efforts to control them. They just “pop” up in your head; you don’t have to do anything to make them happen, they just happen, automatically.

So one minute you are sitting by the window sill sipping your morning cup of coffee, watching the clear blue-sky and the next minute you find your thoughts on the result of lock-down, how it has impacted your current life to when it will all end, will it end? Out of no where you think of all the people you miss, your family, friends, colleagues and slowly the feeling creeps in that you may never get to see them again. You experience tightness in the chest, a light-headed feeling in the head, muscle tension, increased heart rate, and general discomfort. You want to control these uncomfortable sensations and try to make yourself calm down. The more you try to calm down, the worse it gets. Like thoughts, anxiety feelings do not respond to efforts to control it.

So what do we do?

Ask someone who is trying to maintain a healthy diet. They will tell you that they think more about the things that they can’t eat and how hard it is to put that chocolate cake out of their mind. The more they suppress it the stronger the craving gets. What works better is to practice acceptance of their cravings. Acknowledging the appetite for unhealthy food, looking into the feeling a little longer and letting it go is a process that needs practice. In other words, it’s like riding the wave of negative thoughts or anxious feelings. To help you inculcate this technique, here is a time-tested technique, used by experts, to become a skilled at surfing the waves in your mind. Its called the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique.

According to Kristen Scarlett, a licensed mental health counselor, “Ground exercise brings you back to the present and root you or ground you into “now” and away from the stress of news alert, emails from your boss, anxious thoughts about the future or sadness about the past.” It literally takes 60 seconds by zeroing in on what your senses are telling you about the world around you.

Here is a step-by-step guide to the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique. For each step either write, think, or say aloud the sensations you are observing.

1. LIST 5 THINGS YOU CAN SEE RIGHT NOW.

For example, at the moment, I can see my water bottle, my boyfriend typing at his computer, the flowers outside the window, a remote and a closed door.

2. LIST 4 THINGS YOU CAN HEAR RIGHT NOW.

I hear the birds chirping, the sound of the fan, music coming from the radio and the hum of the dishwasher

3. LIST 3 THINGS YOU CAN FEEL RIGHT NOW.

I feel my butt on a squishy cushion, I feel my legs stretched out on the sofa, my mouth feels dry.

4. LIST 2 THINGS YOU CAN SMELL RIGHT NOW.

I smell the floor cleaner fragrance and the daal cooking in the pressure cooker.

5. LIST 1 THING YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR, OR ONE THING YOU CAN TASTE OR 1 GOOD THING ABOUT YOURSELF.

I have the flavor of apple I ate an hour ago or I am grateful for my two pet dogs or I am honest.

Try this out and share your experience. I would love to hear from you.